Open Season: It’s Hate Mail Time!

891 By the StreamI always find it interesting the things that people write when they feel they are anonymous. This is my second piece of hate mail in a month.

I had a brave little bunny write me some hate mail on hate mail, which is new even for me.  I’ve decided that I’m not absorbing hate in the dark this month or at any other time.

Obviously I’ve failed to meet this woman’s standards. I’m terribly sorry she didn’t let me know that at the time, when I could have possibly done something to  apologies for my failures and have addressed the problem. But it’s not that kind of letter. This is a letter strictly to shame someone. It’s supposed to shame me, I suppose.

Hate mail is not about the person being written to. It’s about the writer. It’s not about the faults of the person written to, although they might have those faults. It’s about the not so brave person who’s evidently held on to some offense from years ago, only to strike out in the dark years later.

Sad. And since it’s anonymous, unfix-able. Meant to be. I understand that I may fail and disappoint people. But a letter is like this is about shame and blame, not about correcting wrongs.

She said she didn’t want her name plastered on Facebook. That’s not what I would have done if she’d directly told me I’d offended her. I’d have asked what I could do to apologize. Instead she wrote a fairly hateful missile, which I’m showing in it’s entirety just so that she can see that whether her name is out there or not, her darkness is.

I’m not proud. Nor am I right or wrong. This isn’t as much about me as it is about her. And name or not, here she is with all her warts and mine, in the light.

So here’s her little note. 

letter

Next time  have the courage to tell me what I did wrong to my face. And we’ll see what kind of self absorbed princess I am. For all my sins, I’ve never written anything to anyone I didn’t sign. You might not mind your name on Facebook if you weren’t doing something basically nasty.

By the way, did you know that kind of letter is  considered harassment and stalking?  And I do know who it is. This is bullying. And I won’t absorb this in  private. If you want to bully me, come into the light and tell me your name.

 

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11 Responses to “Open Season: It’s Hate Mail Time!”

  1. Nikki says:

    you are a wise person Ellen Anne Eddy – I learn something from you every time I read one of your posts! Good things – heartful things – to help a person heal themselves. You have too many people who love you to worry about one or two that don’t. I joined a quilt guild just for the specific ability to take one of your classes and drove 100 miles to do it and it was one of the best days I’ve ever had. I learned a LOT – I learned how to do what you do – can’t do it like you do it – but in my own way – you have such a talent – it’s un-describable. Your willingness to share your talent and how you do things is wonderful – when you could be keeping it a secret. I LOVE what you do! The world needs many many more people like you in it. Never change!!!

  2. Diana Ramirez says:

    Hi Ellen Ann,

    There are all sorts of miserable people out there. I’m so sorry that they have had the audacity to attack you anonymously. I’ve taken your class and found you fun. You are a strong woman who knows who she is–we should all be so strong. Keep up the good work and know you have many people for admire and genuinely like you. Best wishes.

    -D

  3. Helene says:

    Sending some hugs your way. I’m sorry you had to deal with this coward. I’ve taken two classes with you and I loved them, I learned so much. And I found you to be open to other ideas, open to other people, and a joy to learn from.

  4. VIVI Ginsberg Smith says:

    Oh my dear dear friend, would I be incorrect to think maybe this is a friend of the last one and this letter is some junior high version of “I’ll get you my pretty”. Honestly, I don’t know about her but I’ve better things to do with my time. Sorry you are subjected to this kind of immaturity darling.

    Love You!
    VIVI

    • Ellen says:

      Actually they’re from two different ponds, I believe. The one was anonymous, but I recognise the language. It’s pretty distinctive. In both cases, there’s a lot of hard feelings about successes that I hope are on the way for them. I hope they’re on the way for us all.

  5. lili says:

    boy, if you are arrogant, what would you call all those arrogant artists who work hard at being arrogant? you have every right to be arrogant, and it might serve you some, especially against people like your writer. but, from what i recall, arrogance is on the opposite spectrum of where you are coming from. just be glad and grateful for all the wonderful supporters you have and the positive human interactions you have received in your journeys. don’t entertain trolls, except, perhaps, in your designs. you’ve been having a heavy troll month. there’s plenty out there.

  6. annie! says:

    I’ve only met you one short time…but I CANNOT and WILL NOT believe you’re anything but wonderful.

  7. Jeannette says:

    Oh I just think you are nothing but fabulous! You have been such an inspiration. I think your words are so wise….bullying is so prevalent, and from what I have experienced and learned, most bullies and abusive people have a problem inside themselves. It helps when you call them on it and bring it to light, which you have done. You are one of me “heroes”, not just because of your talent, but because who you are and where you have come from, and will continue to inspire me.

  8. Mary in VA says:

    Good for you for bringing this bullying into the light! I have found that fall tends to bring out trolls and those that believe in sunshine are often their targets. Personally I think it has to do with the earth going to sleep and the light changing. I hope that they can find a way to shed the darkness that they are cloaking themselves in – it would probably improve their art if they did. In the 2 years or more I’ve never found you to be a self-appointed princess or anything less than gracious and willing to laugh at yourself. I would ask a favor – could you update us on the dogs? We haven’t heard from them for a while.

  9. Marti lew says:

    You are the reason I first became interested in free motion stitch. You have always been such an inspiration to me and when I think of you I smile. Wishing you the happiest of years in 2014!

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